I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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