OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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