love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
