hotel room ftw
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
