It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
