Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
