Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
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Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
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Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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