And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
