Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
