In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize