I think scott just propositioned me for sex
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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