By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
