Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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