We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Those nachos came to me in a dream
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
