everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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