do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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