oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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