Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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