I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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