I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
