...so i touched it.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
