Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He passed out mid-signature
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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