i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
