Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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