sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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