Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's blow job season.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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