I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
