The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
