Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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