It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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