i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
