Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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