Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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