i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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