i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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