its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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