"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
