stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
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I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
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The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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