Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
