I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
