Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm like, not good at living.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
