We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
