hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
