and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize