we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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