There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
