her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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