Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I need a burrito and a hug.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
