People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
