dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
