Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
