remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Randomize
