the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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