his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
