If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize