You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
