I think scott just propositioned me for sex
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
