Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
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If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize