I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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