It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
