Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
