The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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