I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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